Source: Children’s Play Therapy Instructor Lai Shun-Mei

Little boy likes princess books and models, and also likes pink.

There are many types of dolls and toys that children like, and many parents may worry that their son likes princesses and pink or worry that their daughter likes to play with toy cars. What is this worry? Do parents really need to worry? We are used to seeing girls wearing pink dresses and hats, but when we see them playing with fire trucks and swords, we feel uneasy. This is actually called “gender role expectations” in psychology.

Gender role expectations refer to the social and cultural expectations that certain genders engage in certain activities. Therefore, it is normal for everyone to have certain gender role expectations for their children. But we need to be aware that if we turn these expectations into innate views of certain types of people, it will be easy to get rid of the differences between people and what makes them unique.

“Gender role stereotyping” means teaching boys and girls how they should act and figuring out their interests and personalities based on their gender. Gender role stereotyping can limit their innate potential for development. If we want to cultivate children who have diverse interests, creativity, and a balanced and healthy personality, we must protect their freedom to explore. We especially need to pay attention to whether they are subjected to verbal bullying from others in society during this exploration process.

Parents may also worry about their children’s gender identity. Gender identity refers to the internal recognition of which gender one belongs and the desire to live and express oneself in that gender. This is a personal cognitive development issue. As children grow older and their brains develop, they learn and recognize more about themselves and society, gradually clarifying their gender identity. The choice of toys and colors alone cannot indicate a child’s gender identity difficulties, as toys do not have gender. Whether they choose to play with cars or dolls, they are expressing their imagination and sharing their stories. Therefore, as parents, we should relax and listen to our children’s emotions, and enjoy the time spent playing with and accompanying them.